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Tim Member  Member#: 238 Location: Registered: 01-06-2003 Diary Entries: 343 Mood: Not enough time to do it all. |
21st June 2007 Windsurfing: Brog Race#8 Wind Direction: SE Wind Stength: 4......1 Surf / Sea State: Flat Air Temperature: Cool Sea Temperature: Cool Weather: Cloudy Max Speed: Distance Covered: Looked like slalom, but errrr no. So the election was slalom on slalom kit in a force 2 or less. Not particularly satisfying, especially as the wind switched and one let was very broad the other needed a few tacks! Anyway, I got to the start with -10 seconds to spare, but started mid field. Rounded the first mark mid field. Then cruised off. \\\'Used\\\' Mark to go upwind more. Then had a little tussle with 80kilo-man-bouler, tacked pumped away into the sunset... Then OMG I\\\'m in the lead as I completed lap 1. Lap 2 I\\\'m into second, (how? I could not fathom). Lap 3 I\\\'m 2nd. The guy who won had a dagger board!!!! Which was not allowed. ================================ The official story goes like this: Race 8 June 21st It blew on Monday! It blew on Tuesday! On Wednesday it even blew quite hard! Come Thursday and yes at last! It’s blowing! Excitement is unbounded during the afternoon as competitors practised between island buoy and club with a good southerly wind prevailing. All sorts of exciting things were happening. The Hoff is seen passing the lake manager, yet again and then being dumped by an unexpected gust (Now that I enjoyed) he disappeared for some time beneath the waves, presumably checking that the Gremlins hadn’t suddenly grabbed his dagger board (Sorry he calls it a fin!) So come 6 o’clock things were looking good! And then that bloody wind god intervened. With a shower passing through, the wind shifts LAKE MANAGER IS SEEN TOWING BUOYS ROUND LAKE! 6.15 another shower, wind shifts again to nearly on shore LAKE MANAGER IS SEEN TOWING BUOYS ROUND LAKE! As start time approaches! WIND DROPS 19 would be slalom participants are ready to go, but with this record entry we don’t have enough race boards even if we wanted to change. So slalom it was! It’s mayhem on the start line. Resembling the funny roundabout in Hemel Hempstead, nobody knowing where there going and all ramming each other at will. And then the final straw! The last nail in the coffin! That bloody wind God yet again changed the direction (I’m getting a complex with this bloke, WHY DOES HE HATE US SO, or is it just his idea of fun, personally I couldn’t see the funny side!) It had gone back to it’s original southerly direction, we now had a dead run to the bull rushes and then a slog back up wind (nothing short of ridiculous) As the start gun goes there are murmurings in the ranks that the Hoff was over the line, but no one dared to tell him. Down the first run we all careered, contestants dropped sails, falling in, and generally splashing about! Nearing the first mark and unbelievably Mike Milnthorpe is in the lead! Andre, the Hoff, Tony and old Sigy bore down from the left while Chris JET Lagged Foreman come up from the right. Mr and Mrs Young were sailing together holding hands (how sweet) with the rest close behind. As we rounded the mark it was then very apparent what lay before us. Tacking up wind on short board in a force 2 is not my idea of fun. It was at this point that I prayed that Ron our race officer would make a democratic decision and abandon the whole farce! But no, not a chance. Mike having rounded the mark first had no one to follow (not a position he was accustomed to). So he promptly stuffed up to wind aiming directly at the next mark. Forward motion was disengaged and reverse was engaged. I tried to help! “Mike your stuffing it too high” He looked quizzically at me, “What’s stuffing?” A nautical term he had not heard before “Your pushing it too high” “Am I?”He exclaims, as he drifts back into the reeds never to be seen again. There’s no helping some people! Meanwhile back in the race things have improved very little. Mike G (Helium Mike to his friends) was having a few problems adjusting to his fresh supply of helium gas that was inserted in his legs after his recent metal removing op. He was having difficulty controlling these new buoyant limbs and kept falling off, well it was more like floating off actually.. With everyone desperately trying to beat upwind it was becoming increasingly difficult to see what the hell was going on. One assumes some things never change, such as Mark tending to his Harem rather than actually racing, but apart from that who knows? A few things were noted, the highlight of which was the sight of the Hoff drifting back down the fleet. The Hoff in 9th place after the first lap? Is the world coming to an end? Tim was doing well taking the lead at the end of lap 1, Andre cruised into 2nd, with a surprise 3rd place for Simon and as far as Simon was concerned, things got even better. At the start of Lap 2 Lake manager is heard screaming abuse at race Officer “Reduce this farce to 2 Laps !” He yells “Did he say three?” enquires Ron to anyone that might be listening The torture continued, Simon was pointing up wind and going like a train WHAT’S THAT NOBBLY THING ON THE CENTRE OF HIS CRAFT? Do my eyes deceive me or is that a dagger board? All I know is Simon won the race, Tim came 2nd with the master himself John Boulter in third, Helium Mike mastered his buoyancy to take 4th. Sig slipped past lake manager and Andre to take 5th . with Andre settling for 6th place Phil took tony right on the line for 7th. Tony then attached himself to Annette’s egg, masquerading as the finish mark and tried in vain to hatch it, all the while shouting obscenities at the race officer that ‘he was over the line’ ( this outburst, as you will see from the results caused Eeyore one to be disqualified for abusing the race officer and only narrowly avoiding a fate worst than death of being barbecued for taking things too seriously. Mark Fowler came next ahead of John Andel. Geoff finally crossed the line in 10th having been the unfortunate recipient of a nasty wind shift up the last leg. Chris was 11th and Annette 12th still suffering from an unprovoked attack from Chris., Keith plodded in in 13th place while Jo had to settle behind her rival in 14th while Jonathan took 15th Sandy Paws considered that life might well pass her by if she completed the whole farce so retired as did our early leader Mike Milnthorpe, but then he had had a bad day. Simon was then informed (several times) that he is not supposed to use a dagger board. Apparently he didn’t use it, except that is when he accidently stood on it at the beginning of every up wind leg. HOW UNFORTUNATE! Tim threatened a protest until he realised that if he succeeded then he would have to make the coffee, so he withdraw his complaint hastily! I know what you’re thinking! Isn’t someone missing? Well I wasn’t going to mention it! But since you ask! WHERE WAS THE HOFF THE HOFF RETIRED as he drifted back down the fleet unable to cope with the humiliation. His Excuse “Well I was over the start line so felt I should retire” OH YEH!!!!!!! Oh well. It was quite fun, good practice sinking the windward rail to get upwind. Good performance, crap conditions though. |
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